New Glasgow annexed by Glasgow, Scotland

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The Royal Society for the Management of Commonwealth Municipalities is revoking the status of the town of New Glasgow.

New Glasgow is now just... Glasgow.

The announcement was issued from the society’s head office in London early this morning. The release stated that the town will immediately become a part of its parent city, Glasgow, Scotland.

“It became abundantly clear to us that no other municipality in the empire truly had the level of interest that Glasgow did with joining together with New Glasgow,” said Winston Incharge, chair of the society. “In the end this only makes sense.”

While the mayor of New Glasgow couldn’t be reached for comment, residents of the town who heard the proposal expressed mixed emotions.

“How is that even possible?” said John Hancock. “Do they seriously think they can just swoop up a Canadian city and pretend it’s their own? The people of Nova Scotia won’t stand for this.”

Cities and Towns of Nova Scotia spokesman Hugh Betcha said while it’s never actually happened before, Canada does have a clause in their constitution that states that the British can claim back up to 1,000 hectares and do with it as they wish.

“In the end, her majesty the queen has the final say,” Betcha said. “In a way, the town should be honoured that of all the communities in North America, New Glasgow was chosen.”

Steve Doublesteve, a longtime resident, said he’s happy to hear the news. “It’s nice to see that someone finally recognizes we have something to offer,” said Doublesteve. “I mean, we have more Tim Hortons per person than any other part of the British Empire. And there’s good tea there too.”

Water and sewer services will continue to be supplied locally, while taxes from now on will have to be paid to Glasgow, Scotland. New Glasgow will be called “East Glasgow” moving forward. East Glasgow will be allowed one representative on the City of Glasgow's council.

"Together we will flourish," Glasgow mayor Dan Daman stated in a release.

Check back for more.

Organizations: Tim Hortons, British Empire

Geographic location: New Glasgow, Scotland, Nova Scotia London Canada North America

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Recent comments

  • Jonathon Bostick
    April 01, 2014 - 12:59

    Maybe then we wouldn't be the worst place to immigrate to.

  • Cory Langley
    April 01, 2014 - 12:21

    Way to troll the public, NG news. Pretty funny one! Fooled me at first.

  • sandra
    April 01, 2014 - 11:06

    Sounds like April Fool's to me.

  • Another Stellarton Resident
    April 01, 2014 - 10:28

    Good one. Any chance you can contact them about doing the same for Stellarton. No need for them to take SOME of our elected officials though.

  • Christine McCormack
    April 01, 2014 - 10:05

    Greetings good people of 'East Glasgow'. (formerly known as New Glasgow) I wish to nominate myself as your new clan chief because I, being a true Scot who's birthday is 'Tartan Day' and because one of my dearest friends (namely Kathy Jardim) happens to reside in your fine town, I think you should all vote for me. Thank you from Gods own country...SCOTLAND. Happy April 1st folks. x

  • PS
    April 01, 2014 - 10:04

    If this happened maybe the town would improve in its ratings and the roads would get paved... oh wait that's Stellarton that has the worst stretch of road in Nova Scotia - Foord St. is a DISGRACE!!!

  • No Fool
    April 01, 2014 - 07:51

    Yeah.... April Fools to you too

  • James MacDonald
    April 01, 2014 - 07:18

    Will we get a new kilt tartan with the takeover. Thankyou for the laugh.

  • gerry
    April 01, 2014 - 07:16

    lol good one fools