I'm sorry, were you saying something?

"Journalists do not live by words alone, although sometimes they have to eat them." - Adlai E. Stephenson, U.S. politician.

Watching Toronto Maple Leafs general manager Brian Burke on Tuesday, as he delivered a press conference up there in the Centre of the Universe, I was struck by a couple of things: first, he's much more likeable than I had thought previously. Second, I concluded that nothing puts Burke in a bad mood, because it seems he was always there in the first place (if you're asking why I'm talking about the Toronto Maple Leafs even though their season is done, don't worry, we'll get to the Montreal Canadiens in about five games).

Burke reminds me of a guy who rolls out of bed with a growly disposition, because he'd been extremely hammered the previous night after watching his hockey team. And that's more than understandable - it's almost necessary. Burke can spice up a press conference merely with his seeming crankiness and (we think) honest appraisal of his team. He might be over-hyped and not the saviour many hope he is, but at least he says interesting things. So, having decided to scour the Internet for the ultimate Brian Burke quote (yes, I was that bored), I came upon this, from his days in Vancouver with the Canucks: "I wouldn't use the (Vancouver Province newspaper) to toilet train my dog."

Burke apparently doesn't know how to toilet train a dog because if you know what you're doing, you don't let a puppy crap in the house, but if he can build a Cup winner that's all Leaf fans will care about.

At any rate, I attacked the Internet in order to find other quotes about other sports.

Ice time

"Playing the Toronto Maple Leafs is like eating Chinese food. Ten minutes later you want to play them again" - the late Roger Neilson, hockey coach.

"You're playing worse every day and right now you're playing like the middle of next week." - the late Herb Brooks, hockey coach.

"We get nose jobs all the time in the NHL, and we don't even have to go to the hospital." - former Rangers/Bruins defenceman Brad Park.

Net games

"That's the way it is with stars. I've never known a great champion who couldn't be an absolute bitch." - the late Ted Tinling, long-time tennis observer, businessman.

"Sure I know where the press room is - I just look for where they throw the dog meat." - Martina Navratilova

"I'm not the next Anna Kournikova (famous for her looks, also famous for not winning anything). I want to win matches." - Maria Sharapova (famous for her looks, also famous for winning Wimbledon and other major titles).

Fore-telling

"An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly you play, it is always possible to get worse." - author unknown

"Yeah, after each of my downhill putts." - Homero Blancas, asked if he had any uphill putts.

"They throw their clubs backwards, and that's wrong. You should always throw a club ahead of you so that you don't have to walk any extra distance to get it." - Tommy Bolt, on the tempers of modern golfers.

Gridiron glimpses

"When I played pro football I never set out to hurt anyone deliberately - unless it was, you know, important, like a league game or something." - Dick Butkus, hall-of-fame Chicago Bears linebacker

"Being in politics is like being a football coach. You have to be smart enough to understand the game and dumb enough to think it's important." - Eugene McCarthy, U.S. congressman.

Kevin Adshade is a columnist with The News