How was your week? Mine was busy and cold, and add a bit of down in the dumps in there too. I felt quite lazy too, give it a boot, seemed like all I was doing was going to the hospital. I went to the get an MRI done on my head and chest and stomach but when I got there the paper wasn't down for the head scan, so I was going to have to wait and that was the one the doctor needed to see the most to make sure I didn't have another brain tumour.
Keep your fingers crossed, I really need all your good vibes now. My hands are so numb it is very hard to write with paper or knit. So I have to go slow.
With all the power going out – and I live in a tin can – it sure was cold, so Thunder and I tucked under the blankets until the power came back on.
Did you ever just sit there thinking and all of a sudden notice that the tears were running down your face and you were weren't sure why? There are thousands of things in the world to cry for, but right at that moment it’s for you. You’re not sure why.
I remember the first time they told me I had about six months, if that. So I was to go home and get all my things together. I cried for a few minutes and that was it. Then the second time I said, no, this isn't happening, so I went and sat in the car for a while. I cried because I might not get to see my family anymore. Or I wouldn't see the trees or the sky. I wiped the tears from my face and thought, this is not the way this is going to happen, I have so much more living to do. And who was I feeling sorry for, me? Or those who would remember me once in awhile? I don't want them to spend their lives thinking about me. I'm going to fight this battle for them and for me. The first time I was 46 and now I'm 60. I'm still fighting. I get chemo every 21 days. I still love watching silly British TV comedies and I have two granddaughters and a son-in-law and an almost son-in-law. I will dry my tears and keep fighting.
I'm still on steroids. I will know soon for sure if I’m going to blow up like a blowfish. One thing about steroids is you want to eat everything sweet in sight.
I have the VON nurses coming to my place every three days to check my blood pressure.
Have a good week folks. Sorry for a short column but I have a friend I'm really worrying about – but she's a fighter like me. Hopefully we’ll be sitting around talking about this in our rocking chairs some day. Or at a rock concert.
Kathy Golemiec is undergoing cancer therapy and writes about her experiences each week.