Andrew Heighton and Fleur Mainville have dived into parenthood with the lots of enthusiastic support from family and friends.
The cupboard is stocked with goldfish crackers, the fridge with milk. And for the first time ever, the Easter Bunny will pay a call tonight.
Fleur and Andrew recently became the parents of a four year-old girl and a nine year-old boy. Like most new parents, they bounce between exhilaration and exhaustion.
“The kids seem to have adjusted really well but we’re still getting used to it,” said Andrew.
Fleur, a professional musician who also manages the farmers’ market, teaches music lessons and has a radio show and a newspaper column, continues to battle a rare form of cancer. She met Andrew, a registered nurse who is now associate director of care at Glen Haven Manor, when she was being diagnosed.
“We both wanted children but not enough is known about my form of cancer so we applied to adopt. We both have cousins who were adopted, the families were very open and it has been a happy experience,” said Fleur.
Three years into the process, Andrew remained optimistic but Fleur was getting discouraged.
“The message I was getting was that my cancer was playing a big role in our chances. I was at the point of wondering if we should be saving money and looking into international adoption.”
A single inquiry on an ordinary winter day set in motion the series of events that turned the couple into parents in a matter of weeks.
“We were asked if we would consider a sibling group. We thought about it and said yes,” said Fleur.
She points out Andrew is as logical as she is passionate so they went to a meeting with adoption officials armed with six pages of questions.
By the end of their session both were ready to meet the children and were introduced to them in their foster home. A social worker had outlined a step-by-step process to the children but the little girl asked them point-blank if they would be coming back.
On a second visit they took the children out to lunch. They gave each child a stuffed animal and photo album with photos of their new home, the three dogs and two cats who share it, and the extended family waiting to welcome them. After each visit Fleur and Andrew hurried home, adding to their To Do list with every kilometer. Before they knew it, they were at their son’s school and their daughter’s pre-school for going away parties.
“They introduced us to the other children as their new Mom and Dad. We didn’t expect that, we thought we’d always be Fleur and Andrew to them, but we’re happy to follow their lead,” said Fleur.
They brought the children home for a sleepover, letting them leave items behind to reassure them they would be coming back. Returning them to the foster home was painful but two days later they brought them home for good.
“We had a lot to do in a short time. At 3 a.m. we were still painting a bedroom purple and later in the morning I was at Wal-Mart searching for booster seats which I knew nothing about. We needed clothes and dozens of things and we needed it all in a hurry,” said Andrew.
Fleur’s first purchase was a bottle of children’s Tylenol.
“I wanted to buy things but I was so afraid. Children’s Tylenol seemed safer than buying clothes or toys but things moved so fast I had to get over that,” she laughed.
The children, who are the first grandchildren for Rita and Amby Heighton and Jocelyne and Roger Mainville, have been showered with gifts from family and friends.
“It’s just like what happens with a new baby, only the new baby is not aware of what is going on,” said Andrew.
They have tried to make it clear the gifts will not continue.
“We’ve told them they are lucky to live in a community where people are so generous but this is not our normal life and it is time for us to start a normal life together,’’ said Fleur.
Normal means finding their way as a family and introducing the children to new opportunities.
“Our son is excited he’s going to be able to play on a sports team and our daughter wants a picnic on the beach because she’s never had one,” said Andrew.
Being able to make such dreams come true is emotional, said Fleur.
“Our son is learning to skate and it is really hard but he has a dad who is going to make sure he gets there. We don’t know what they’ll be doing down the road but we’ve put them in swimming lessons and we’ve registered them for soccer for now.”
At the end of each new day Fleur and Andrew catch their breath and marvel at the sensitive, hard-working son who dreams of playing hockey and the chatty, imaginative daughter who takes her family photo album to bed with her.
Rosalie MacEachern is a Stellarton resident and freelance writer who seeks out people who work behind the scenes on hobbies or jobs that they love the most. If you have someone you think should she should profile in an upcoming article, she can be reached at r.[email protected]
