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HEADLINES & SIDELINES: Throw on a dress, play some golf

Random Sports Thoughts:

• Since Canada is apparently not good at soccer (Iceland can field a team capable of qualifying for the World Cup, and we can’t?) I’ve decided to throw my support behind England, from where my sheep-stealing forbearers originated, coming over on the boat with the letter ‘S’ branded on their foreheads, according to family legend.

Such laudy stock, wouldn’t you agree?

But if Pictou County folks can throw on a kilt and celebrate their much-diluted Scottish bloodlines next week at the Kilted Golf Tournament – an official Festival of the Tartans event, as you know – then I can certainly get behind our lads as they continue their breathtaking show of brilliance at the World Cup.

• With literally nothing else to do, thousands of people were supposed to show up to watch the Nathan’s Famous July Fourth hot dog eating contest. Held in New York every year, the record is held by Joey Chestnut, who once downed 72 hot dogs (franks and buns) in 10 minutes.

I can’t imagine how someone could do that without ending up in a coffin.

Non-Sports Thought of the Week (post-Canada Day):

• The crowd at New Glasgow’s Canada Day events on Saturday was sparse when I was there in the early evening, even with the good weather and the free ice cream – chocolate, strawberry and vanilla, enough variety that nobody should have any right to complain. The smallish crowd (to be fair, it might have picked up later on in the evening) was probably due to it being a Saturday: people have stuff to do on Saturday nights and Canada Day wasn’t until the next day, either, so few people are in flag-waving mode.

The ice cream tubs could have been a little bigger for us bigger kids who aren’t worried about getting diabetes (until we actually develop diabetes, and then yeah, we’ll have plenty to worry about), but nonetheless, it was darn good ice cream. Although let’s face it: when is chocolate ice cream NOT good?

• Next year on Canada Day, I hope we get a gigantic rain storm, a real monsoon, so that way, people won’t be lighting off fireworks in their urban backyards, scaring the bejeesus out of people’s pets. If you want to light off fireworks, head out to the deep woods and thrill yourselves to no end.

Another Sports Thought:

• You could almost feel the resentment in the air Sunday – it was palpable, thick – when the Toronto Maple Leafs signed free agent superstar John Tavares away from the New York Islanders, instantly turning the Leafs into a true Stanley Cup contender, while at the same time, sending the Islanders into a full-blown rebuild.

Even this Leafs’ fan understands the Leafs-bashing: the Maple Leafs are dissected and over-analyzed by the national media and always have been, even when they’ve been bad, which is most of the time. Fans of the Toronto Maple Leafs can also be obnoxious and rude, when they’re not being completely delusional.

And while other Canadian-based teams have been stagnant the past few years, if not going backward, the Leafs have drafted high-level talent and look poised to contend for years.

But hate away, haters – it’s okay that you feel envious of our dynasty in the making (you see what I did there? Obnoxious and delusional, in the same sentence).

Kevin Adshade is sportswriter with The News. His column appears each week.

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